I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
