We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
