dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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