he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
