so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
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