I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
