I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
