I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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