Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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