Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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