Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
