Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
