you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
