so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
