I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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