Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
