nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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