Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
