I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
What a fucking waste of an outfit
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
