TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
