direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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