Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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