I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
