I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Randomize
