hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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