watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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