An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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