You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
