I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Come share oat with me in your robe
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
