He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
