My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
