Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
