Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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