Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
PANTIES FOUND
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