it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
