I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
