I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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