Sponge bath it is.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
