used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
