Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
