it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
