i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
