and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
