I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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