We're like a lot better than the average bears
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
