I can tuck mytits in my pants
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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