I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
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