Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize