I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
