his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Can I color on your dick again?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
